“Am I enough?”
Something that we often find ourselves working on deeply with clients is self-worth. Truthfully, we all likely struggle with worthiness, even if it’s just a little bit. One of my favorite authors, Brené Brown, reminds us that “worthiness is a birthright”.
Love and belonging are essential needs, and when these are not present in our lives, all kinds of issues arise. For example, when we look at addiction, mental health, unhealthy family dynamics, relationship disconnections, etc., we can almost always find an underlying issue with worthiness. At the core, we often ask ourselves, “am I enough?” at best. In more severe cases, we see a lot of self-defeating talks and/or actions.
That being said, it seems like if we can get people to improve their sense of self-worth, then all of the other problems that have resulted from the deeply rooted feelings of worthlessness will just disappear, right? Unfortunately, it’s not that easy, but this certainly is a strategic place to start.
A couple of years ago, there was a gentleman participating in our residential recovery program. It was very evident to me that he struggled deeply with self-worth. One day I stopped him in the parking lot because I felt compelled to tell him one thing. I said, “John, do you know you are worthy of a good life? It doesn’t matter what you think you’ve done or haven’t done. You are worthy. You are perfect the way you were created.” John replied with a thank you and walked away with tears in his eyes. Years later, John returned for services. He walked into my office and asked for a few minutes of my time. He sat down to tell me that he has struggled every day of his life with self-worth, but since our brief interaction he regularly hears my voice saying, “John, do you know you are worthy of a good life?” He shared that it may not seem like a lot, that he has continued to struggle, but from that day forward his mind has started to shift toward believing he is worthy of a good life.
Reminding each other that we are enough is integral to our mission. Not only are humans hardwired for love and belonging, but we are absolutely deserving of it, too. We show people every single day that worthiness is not something that has to be earned; it just is. Oftentimes it seems impossible for people to accept this truth if they have never experienced a forgiving, unconditional love. But, regardless of a person’s past, present, or future, to love other people and feel loveable is an inalienable, divinely ordained right, that we pledge to defend to the end.
Today, please know that you are truly loved. “There are no prerequisites for worthiness.” I encourage you to remind yourself and others that you are enough every chance you get!
In love,
Erin E. Minor
Chief Executive Officer
